Finding Your People
Moving through the fog of grief is a process like no other. There is no straight line through to the other side, whatever the other side is. Despite a plethora of resources for grief support, finding the right fit is critical and can require a mindset like Goldilocks – you may have to try several before you find one that is just right.
Nearly five years after surviving a horrific home invasion, Karen Keene is working to rebuild her life and find her way to a new normal. Keene had been shot four times before being treated at the area’s trauma center. Her husband was killed in the event. The attacker was Karen’s brother, who died the next day in a confrontation with police.
Working to recover from the traumatic event itself, her years-long physical rehabilitation along with her emotional wounds required a special kind of help. She tried a church counseling group but felt disconnected – other participants could not relate to her profound trauma.
“I had lost so much of my self-confidence. My self-worth had plummeted,” said the former law firm marketing executive who is also a highly respected founder of a successful executive mentoring program for young businesswomen.
It wasn’t until a therapist she had been seeing before the shooting, recommended Everytown Survivor Network, that Karen felt a glimmer of hope. Everytown, which among other things, provides support to survivors of gun violence, welcomed her. And Karen felt comfortable immediately.
“These were my people. I found my people. “We’re in a small club that no one wants to be a part of. However, we need to lean on one another in ways most people can’t understand.”
Addressing the trauma of loss is an enormous and critically important aspect of grief. In Karen’s case, she had to prioritize her own recovery over grieving for her husband. As a surviving spouse, it can be overwhelming trying to identify exactly what you need to help you move forward each day.
For Karen, being with others who had experienced gun violence, provided a unique level of familiarity and comfort. “It was comforting to me; I was beginning to feel like I was going crazy; this helped me start to see a way forward.”
Keene has made a new home for herself and is writing a book about her experience. She is considering becoming a vocal advocate against gun violence. “Finding this organization was a game changer. I found my people.”
For Karen, Everytown provided her with peer support groups that she could not find anywhere else. She connected with other survivors, including those from mass shootings. “It helped me start to see a way forward.”
